How to rebuild trust after addiction

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The wounds inflicted by addiction on a relationship can be painfully deep. Whether the damage was done in a partnership, within a family, between friends, in a community, or in professional spaces, or even within oneself, trust is often fractured. How to rebuild from here? It’s not an easy process, and it takes time, but it absolutely can be done. Recognising the harm is often the first step.

At Marrin Weejali, we provide drug and alcohol recovery and emotional support programs for Aboriginal and non-Indigenous people in Western Sydney. Substance use often leaves lasting scars on lives. Healing involves more than stopping harmful behaviours. It takes work, patience, honesty and commitment.

Before you can repair something broken, it’s important to acknowledge how it happened. Addiction frequently leads to dishonesty, broken promises, emotional distance, cultural disconnection and withdrawal from loved ones. Whether it happened suddenly or gradually, this can cause hurt, confusion and leave people feeling unsure of where they stand.

While the person experiencing addiction may have let others down, they often carry pain of their own during recovery. If you’re rebuilding after addiction, you might feel judged, misunderstood or even abandoned, and that kind of hurt can be harder to put into words. Trust isn’t only something to earn back. Sometimes, it’s something you have to relearn how to offer.

Moving forward starts with honesty. That doesn’t mean shame. It means acknowledging what happened, being accountable for it and staying open to the work that will be required to make amends.

Before trust can be restored with others, it must begin internally. Addiction often erodes self-belief, and reconnecting with your core values and sense of integrity will lay the foundation for you to have stronger relationships.

Internal trust grows when you do what you say you will, no matter how small the commitment may seem. Keeping promises to yourself proves that you are reliable, whether that’s waking up on time, following through on a plan or being truthful in all situations, regardless of consequences.

This is never an overnight process. Re-establishing a sense of safety and respect in a relationship takes repeated, consistent effort. The other person may want to talk about what happened and how it affected them. Try to listen without interrupting, explaining, rationalising or becoming defensive. You might not agree with everything they say, but hearing them out without shutting down validates their feelings. It also signals that you’re willing to understand the harm, not just move on without doing the work.

Taking responsibility is so much more than just apologising. It means making real behavioural changes. Following the destructive impacts of addiction, some loved ones may need time, space or reassurance. Let them set the pace. Keep communication open and check in regularly. Make it clear that you’ll respect their boundaries.

Sometimes, the most healing thing is finding a goal to work towards together. It might be caring for children, getting involved in the community, or simply showing up for everyday life. A shared sense of purpose gives the relationship direction and helps shift the focus from what went wrong to what’s possible.

Even after progress has been made, trust can still feel uncertain. When trying to move forward after hurt, it’s natural for small setbacks to bring old fears back to the surface. In those moments, patience and kindness go a long way. Taking a breath and responding with calm instead of defensiveness will help rebuild confidence and show that the changes you’re making are real and here to stay. Consistency matters, but so does emotional control.

It takes courage to admit that addiction has caused harm. Facing that truth is the first step toward making things right. Trust is foundational to every human relationship. It can be rebuilt, but only when words match actions.

At Marrin Weejali, our programs were created by our people, for our people, to support individuals, families and communities in overcoming addiction and rebuilding their shattered spirits and lives.

If you or someone you know needs support, you are welcome at Marrin Weejali.

Contact us for a confidential discussion.